I haven’t broken up many times (maybe…5 times total. I’m not one for relationships), but I have discovered that I actually have a formula.
- get everything you need to say out. all of it. every last bit. even if it is embarrassing. idc if its text, call, in person, whatever, SAY IT.
- then delete them. from every part of your life. phone. FB. everything. DO THIS. do not fight it. fucking do it. having them remind you of their existence will fucking ruin you.
- then call someone and just fucking BAWL ok. let them come over. let them bring you cheese fries. drink some alcohol. CRY. fall asleep with that person telling you its gonna be OK. do not sleep alone this first night. Sleep at a friends or at least with a friend on the phone. Do. Not. Allow yourself. to be. alone.
- In the morning things will seem less dismal. Make yourself a good breakfast.
- leave town as soon as you can. go somewhere. preferably with friends and preferably the ocean. I recommend the ocean because literally no one can stand and witness the true vastness of the ocean and still think that their problems are the end of the world (if you do, I cannot help you). take pictures. sleep in. eat so much food. talk to people. sleep in the sun. put your feet in the water. find sealife. build a sand castle. Appreciate every salty breath. do not worry about how you look. no makeup.
- come home and unpack, then have a spa day. Spa days are different for everyone, whether that means taking a long bath or getting your nails done or watching makeup tutorials on youtube or shopping; You need to focus on repairing the outside now. polish your armor.
- read a book. not an old one, a new one. just fucking read it. sit down and get lost in it. feel it. be another person for a while.
- write about how you feel at 3 am. write about how you feel at noon. write anytime you feel that itch. post it online. or keep it. just make sure you write it
- if you can, you know that band that you’ve been putting off listening to? nows the time. right now. go listen to them. listen to them while you write, while you read, while you’re in the car, during your spa day. do it. over play their songs. associate your ex with that one song. play it until you are sick of hearing it.
- fucking clean your room. Im talking deep clean mother fucker. CLEAN IT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, SCRUB, DISINFECT, MOVE FURNITURE AROUND. Make it a huge project. do not skip this step.
- pick a friend and go to a secluded park at midnight (or a bedroom idk. mine are always in parks and weird ass places) and just…just fucking talk it out. cry. yell, kick scream, get mad. it won’t be like the first time. wait at least a week for this step, preferably 2 weeks.
- slowly return to the world. get involved in an extracurricular, pick up more hours at work, do some extra studying. But BE PRODUCTIVE. its time to come home.
- and before you know it, you WILL be home.
Literally every time I have broken up with someone, this is what I do. Every. Time. I know its a long list, and it may not work for everyone, or be possible for everyone, but this is what I’ve done every time. And so far, nothings broken me. I’ve never looked back and regretted anything. In fact, I’m able to look back on those moments as some of the best in my life and I cherish them, as well as the turmoil that brought them to me.
If you want to remain in contact with this person, STILL FOLLOW THESE STEPS and when you are done, wait until it feels right to attempt contact. If they shoot you down, thats their one chance. LEAVE. If they decide they want to be friends, go for what feels right to you.
Do not be afraid to reach out to people. Most times if they see you need help, they will reach back.
I really hope I helped. Its gonna be OK. Mama J promises. :)